Stumble and Shake
by BrokenBunny
Summary: Clare raised the gun towards her head and laughed. "The only bullet that will be fired will be well...well, into me!" she giggled. One shot. Literately.


Slowly. Very slowly. Clare was losing it.

They could see it in her face every day at school.

Her eyes were empty. Her clothes were dirty and sloppy. Her grades were slipping. Her friendship with Eli and Adam was completely demolished. Whenever she walked by them she just stared forward, and as they looked back to watch her walk away, they gave her a sad expression. The expression was filled with knowing of what has happened to Clare Edwards.

Over the summer break of the year 2011, she lost everything.

Her mother was in a car accident and died on impact. Shortly after, her father commited suicide due to his company's stock falling to the ground and the grief of his first loves dramatic death.

She still stayed with her step father and step brother, Glen and Jake. But soon they lost their sanity too. Almost every day she was raped by the two in her sleep that summer, and while they did it they filmed it and took pictures. But in the end she didn't care anymore. Soon, she would no longer eat, she would no longer sleep. She was a mess. And there was no way out. But today, her brother was noticeably absent from school, and her father noticeably absent from work.

That day a note fell out of Clare's locker while Alli was trying to give her some fashion tips, even though Alli knew there was no point, she would never listen. Alli always tried her best though, even if it fell on a deaf ear.

Alli looked down and read the note carefully. Her eyes bulged when she was done, for it read:

_A is for the Ashes that will burn down on my own grave._

_B is for my Body that will be lifeless under a pile of dirt._

_C is for the Corpses that are in that field._

_D is for the Death I am eagerly awaiting._

_E is for Everything. Everything I wanted to do, but never will._

_F is for my Failure. My failure that ruined myself in the end._

_G is for Goldsworthy. The only man I truely loved._

_H is for Helen. She should have seen it coming. -_

Alli gasped and covered her mouth.

Clare stared at her and laughed.

"What? You actually care that I write now, Alli?"

Alli quietly shook her head and gave her back the note. Clare looked down at it and laughed.

"You know what I should have replaced for _G_, Alli?"

Clare watched as the wide eyed girl stared at her, not saying anything.

"I should have written '_G is for a Gun. The gun that's in my backpack._'

Clare quickly shoved the note back in her locker and took out the gun from her backpack.

Alli gasped and took a few steps back as Clare waved the gun around in her hand.

Clare looked at her, hurt. The first expression she had had in months.

"Don't worry Alli, the only bullet that will be fired today will be.. well..."

Clare raised the gun towards her head and laughed. "Well, into me!" she giggled.

Alli shook her head and stepped back towards Clare, tears starting to roll from her big brown eyes.

"No.. Clare please don't. We can get you help! Mr. Simpson can help! He's the be-"

Clare cut her off with another laugh, shaking her head.

"For all these months... I've only been a burden to people. Especially you Alli... I'm really sorry... please don't hate me when I'm gone, okay?"

Alli opened her mouth but no words came out. Only crying whimpers and more tears. She shook her head.

"Clare!" A voice echoed against the hall walls.

Eli was running down the hall with Adam towards Clare. Clare didn't turn around, she held her position with the gun to her head, she knew his voice, she knew his footsteps. She memorized them with her heart.

'Please Clare, don't do it. It's not worth it, c'mon." Adam begged, tears streaming down his cheeks.

Clare turned around and looked at them. She smiled at them and shook her head.

"I'm so sorry. For everything."

With a sharp bang, the former intelligent, beautiful, cheerful girl was surrounded in a pool of her own blood. Her eyes wide open and a true happy smile spread across her face.

* * *

><p>The following weeks at Degrassi were difficult. Jake and his father were found gutted in a field outside Toronto, with their bodies were the pictures and videos they took of Clare as they raped her. The story of Clare Diana Edwards was spread everywhere like a wild fire. In every country there was a newspaper telling the story of a beautiful young girl. Her mother had died in a tragic car accident and her father commited suicide. And by autopsy, It was found she was raped on a daily basis by her step brother and step father. And towards the end of her life, she was driven towards insanity. And with one bullet, she took her life in front of her closest friends. With a cheerful smile on her corpse.<p>

The day of her funeral it was raining. Alli Bhandari silently placed a bouqet of white roses on top of her coffin. Eli Goldsworthy sat and silently mourned for the only woman he truely ever loved. A moment later a dry white feather floated down from the sky and landed on Eli's lap. Eli carefully inspected it and held it up. Clare's beautiful face flashed in his mind, with a true cheerful smile on her small face.

And for that moment, Eli stopped mourning, and smiled. Not for him, but for Clare.

She was truly happy now.

* * *

><p><strong><em>This was a whole lot darker than my previous work. But I liked it, it's the first thing I've written in a long time. No, I don't think suicide is right. And no, no one should go through the kind of pain Clare went through in this story, and that's what made me write it. Always know that someone cares, and if you are going through something like this, even if it's not this dramatic, seek help. There are people who want to see you.<em>**


End file.
